Defy the Stars Read online

  I took the tiny booklet of matches out of the wallet and gazed at the Blue Parrot logo on the front. Although Flynn had said he no longer intended to work for Bentham, the people at the Blue Parrot bar – which Bentham owned – would surely know how I could contact him, as well as whether or not he’d kept his word about leaving. If he hadn’t, I didn’t want to see him anyway.

  I decided to go to the bar and find out. I got up and brushed the grass from my jeans, feeling better for having a plan. I explained to Grace that I was going out with an old friend from home for the evening, and that if I could crash at hers that would be great. Grace was happy to agree, which meant I didn’t even have to lie to Dad. In the end I left him a carefully worded note explaining that I was catching the train to London for the night, and that I’d stay over at Grace’s. I felt bad that I was allowing him to assume I was spending the entire evening with her, but I couldn’t see a better alternative.

  Everything went as planned. Dad came home late and left again for the hospital early on Saturday morning. I did my commune chores – clearing out the hen hutch and helping John and Julia check over all the sheep. I even took on what should have been Dad and Gemma’s job of preparing – and clearing – lunch, but at last I was free.

  I spent quite a while in my room trying to decide what to wear. I’d checked out the Blue Parrot online and I knew it was a smart, upmarket bar. I didn’t want to look out of place walking through the door. On top of that, I was still a few months off my eighteenth birthday and the last thing I needed was to be challenged about my age.

  Part of me, therefore, wanted to dress up. However another part was determined that I shouldn’t make too much effort in case I actually saw Flynn. It was all very well him saying he was still into me when I was wearing a slinky dress and high heels, but the real me was more likely to be found in sweatpants and trainers. If he didn’t want that River, then he didn’t really want me at all.

  In the end I compromised, teaming my jeans and flat sandals with one of my favourite tops: black and silver, with a slash-neck and tiny straps on the shoulders. I shoved all the money I had into my pockets, along with Flynn’s wallet, my keys, my phone and one lipgloss. Tonight, I was travelling light.

  I was nervous when I arrived at the bar. It was almost nine p.m. and the place was heaving with people – though no Flynn. The place was smaller than I was expecting – and very designer. A glass-topped bar ran in a huge circle around the room. The bar staff, all dressed in black and white shirts, served from inside the circle. There were a few chairs and tables in the corners, but most people stood or sat on stools at the bar. It was hot in here and the music was loud – a love song that Flynn and I had once listened to together.

  I went over to a gap in the bar and waited until one of the barmen came over.

  ‘What can I get you?’ he asked.

  ‘Er, just a Coke, thanks,’ I said. I had already decided not to drink this evening. I needed to keep a clear head.

  The barman brought my drink and I fished in my pocket for cash to pay.

  ‘Do you know a guy called Flynn?’ I asked, laying a note on the counter. ‘I think he might have worked here, not necessarily behind the bar, but . . . maybe out the back?’

  ‘Flynn?’ The barman shook his head. ‘Sorry, sweetheart, never heard of him.’ He picked up the note I’d left and turned away.

  ‘Excuse me.’ I could feel my cheeks reddening.

  The barman turned back.

  ‘Could you ask if any of the others do . . . er, please?’

  The barman gazed at me for a moment. ‘Is he a friend of yours?’

  I nodded.

  ‘Okay.’ He headed around the bar. I watched as he spoke to first the male, then the female bar staff. He turned to find me watching him and shook his head.

  My heart sank. Now what did I do? All my expectations of this evening had revolved around Flynn being known here. Still, I couldn’t give up yet.

  I wandered around the bar. A man – much, much older than me – asked if I’d like a drink. I shook my head and hurried on. The toilets were along a corridor to the right of the bar. I noticed there was a staff door there too but I didn’t dare go through. Music thumped in the background, slightly muted here away from the bar. I was just wandering back to the hubbub when a voice sounded at my shoulder.

  ‘If it isn’t River with an R.’

  I spun around. Flynn’s friend, Cody, was standing behind me. He smiled, though on his lips it looked more like a sneer. ‘What are you doing here?’

  I gulped. ‘Er, I’m looking for Flynn.’

  Cody raised his eyebrows. He looked me up and down. I shuffled from side to side, feeling desperately uncomfortable. Cody had this way of staring at me that made me feel I was being somehow undressed and ridiculed all at once.

  ‘He’s out the back,’ Cody said. ‘Want to see him?’

  My stomach flipped over. Flynn was here? For a moment I felt excited at the prospect of seeing him and then I realised what this meant – that all his words about moving on, leaving his work and going back to college had been entirely empty.

  ‘Well?’ Cody demanded.

  I nodded. This was my chance to tell Flynn once and for all to leave me alone. He would never change. It was time I accepted it.

  A dull ache settled in my chest as I followed Cody through the staff door. He led me along a corridor, past two closed doors and a flight of stairs. A fire door was propped open at the end of the corridor. Through it I could see two men in conversation, smoking. They didn’t notice us. Cody turned a corner and led me into a small office.

  The music from the bar was just a dim thud in the distance now. Cody shut the door behind him.

  I looked around. Apart from a wall of shelves, crowded with files, a desk with a computer and a couple of chairs the room was entirely empty.

  Cody stared at me menacingly. The dull ache vanished as my heart beat wildly.

  ‘Where’s Flynn?’ I asked.

  ‘You tell me,’ Cody said, walking over.

  ‘I don’t know where he is,’ I said, the words falling out of my mouth as fear seized me. ‘You said he was here.’

  ‘I lied.’ Cody looked me in the eye. His gaze was cold. He leaned closer and I could smell the stale beer on his breath. ‘I haven’t seen Flynn since that party last week. In fact, the last time I saw him he was heading for the front door with you. So you tell me where he is.’

  ‘I don’t know, I really don’t.’ My stomach clenched. Cody had tricked me and now I was trapped in a room with him.

  Cody tilted his head to one side. ‘How did you know Flynn worked here?’

  I gulped. ‘I didn’t. I mean, I wasn’t sure.’

  Cody grabbed my shoulders. I gasped. He shook me. Hard. My legs banged against the desk behind me.

  ‘You’re lying,’ he snapped. ‘I know how he feels about you. He’s talked about his mysterious ex ever since I met him. He never gave me your name but I guessed it began with R from that stupid thing he wears round his neck. It was obvious you had, like, a major hold over him. He’d say things like how great you were. How cool, how smart, how beautiful.’ Cody shook his head. ‘So don’t expect me to believe you don’t know where he is now when you were the last person to see him.’

  ‘But I don’t.’ I tried to move away, but Cody held me fast. ‘Let me go,’ I insisted.

  ‘Not until you tell—’

  ‘I don’t know where he is.’ I struggled, desperate to get away.

  Cody slapped my cheek.

  I gasped, my hand flying to my smarting skin. Cody made a fist. He pressed me back against the desk, then raised his arm.

  I shrank back as he loomed over me, his breath hot and stale in my ear.

  ‘Tell me where he is,’ he hissed, ‘or I will mess up that pretty face until no one wants to look at you, not even Flynn.’

  9

  I stared at Cody’s fist, inches from my face. Instinct took over. With a snarl I brought my
knee up between his legs. He yelled out in pain, doubling over. I shoved him away from me and ran. Across the office, I flung open the door and raced away, along the corridor. The fire door was open, the two men still visible outside, their cigarettes bright spots in the gloom.

  I swerved to the left, hoping to find my way back to the toilets and the bar. Another fire door. I opened it. Pushed. It clanged against the wall behind. I ran outside. Even in the dim light I could see this was just a yard, surrounded by other backyards. I could hear Cody’s footsteps pounding along the corridor behind me. There was no time. I turned and raced up the fire escape. My flat sandals slapped noisily on the iron steps. I reached the first floor. The door here was open, the office beyond empty. I darted inside and stood, panting.

  Silence below. I peered around the door. Cody was in the yard beneath me, looking around. I ducked back, praying he wouldn’t think to come up here. My heart beat fast and loud in my ears. Music drifted up from the bar downstairs. I peered around the door again as Cody drew a gun from inside his jacket.

  I gasped. I had never seen a gun in real life. Cody raised it, holding it in both hands to examine it carefully, then lowered it to his side as another man – older and balding – appeared from the building. I couldn’t see his face but I was sure it was Lance Bentham. His voice was a low murmur.

  ‘Any sign of Flynn?’ Bentham asked.

  ‘No.’ Cody looked around again. ‘I asked his girlfriend, but she didn’t know either. She was here a minute ago, but she’s gone.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. Flynn’s left. It’s done. I don’t want to spend any more manpower trying to find him.’ Bentham sighed. ‘And this is a solo job anyway.’ He lowered his voice further. I could only just hear him over the steady thump of music from the bar inside. ‘Got your new piece?’

  Cody held up the gun and nodded.

  Bentham drew a thick stack of notes from his pocket. ‘Here’s half the money. You get the rest when Elmore’s dead.’

  Dead? My breath caught in my throat. Was Cody being paid to kill someone? Cody gave a sharp nod.

  ‘When do I do it?’ he asked.

  ‘Don’t know yet. Elmore changes his schedule all the time. But soon.’

  I stared, my eyes popping out of my head as Cody nodded again, then followed the other man inside. I realised I was still holding my breath and sucked in a lungful of air.

  What the hell had just happened? I sagged against the fire door. Was Cody going to carry out a hit for money? My head spun, every cell in my body revolting at the possibility. I had to get away but I didn’t dare go outside and back down the fire escape in case Cody was still nearby. Instead, I tiptoed across the room I was hiding in, past the desk and chairs and out into a dimly lit corridor. I crept along, past closed doors. Voices drifted towards me. Cigarette smoke writhed up from under one of the doors.

  I sped up, my breath coming fast and hard. I reached a small staircase and raced down the steps. I stopped at the bottom, trying to get my bearings. There was a door ahead of me. I stood on the other side and pressed my ear to the wood. The music was louder here – and the sound of glass clinking and people talking. It was the bar.

  I opened the door and slipped out, shutting the door swiftly behind me. Keeping my head down, I pushed my way through the crowds, past the long glass bar. The air outside was suddenly cool on my face. I turned left on to the pavement and ran. I raced on for several minutes, intent only on putting as much distance as I could between me and the bar.

  At last I stopped. I was on Long Acre, close to Covent Garden tube. A taxi passed, its light on. Another was approaching. I thrust my hand out. The taxi stopped.

  ‘Where to, love?’

  My legs felt trembly. My hands were shaking. I was supposed to be going to Grace’s house, but I was suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to be at home. Except Dad and Gemma weren’t at home. Which left only one option. I opened my mouth and the next moment heard myself giving Mum’s address in North London. I hadn’t lived there for over a year but it was still the safest place I could imagine being right now. And Mum, for all her faults, was still my mother. I got in the cab. My hands still shook as I sent Mum a text saying I was coming, then another to Grace saying that I wasn’t going back to hers after all.

  I sat back, feeling Flynn’s wallet in my pocket. At least I had the money to pay for the cab. Well, it was Flynn’s money but I couldn’t believe he’d begrudge me spending it, not after what I’d seen.

  I closed my eyes, but the image of Cody holding his gun stayed in my head. I should call the police. I didn’t want to give my name but I could still make an anonymous call. The cab drove past a row of phone boxes.

  ‘Could you pull over for a second, please?’

  The driver halted the cab. I darted out, grabbed the receiver and punched 999 on the pad.

  ‘Emergency services, which service do you require?’

  I took a deep breath. ‘I just saw a man out the back of the Blue Parrot bar in Soho ordering another man to kill someone called Elmore. I don’t know where or when, but he said to do it soon.’

  The operator hesitated. Before she could speak I carried on.

  ‘I didn’t see the first man’s face so I can’t be one hundred per cent sure who he is, but the guy he ordered to do the killing is definitely called Cody.’

  ‘What is—?’ the operator began.

  I hung up. A second later I was back in the cab. By the time I reached Mum’s I was slightly calmer. After all, I’d done the right thing in calling the police. Surely they would be able to stop Cody.

  I let myself in hoping Mum would be asleep. Of course she wasn’t. She was waiting in the hall for me in her dressing gown, a deep frown creasing her forehead.

  ‘What’s wrong, River?’ she said.

  Despite the fact that I’d wanted to come here, irritation rose up inside me.

  ‘Why does something have to be wrong?’ I snapped. ‘I just thought it would be nice to stay here instead of going back to Grace’s.’

  Mum stared at me. ‘It’s something to do with Flynn, isn’t it?’

  ‘No,’ I said. And then I burst into tears.

  Mum was across the hall in a shot. She put her arms around me and I wept against her shoulder. After a moment she led me into the kitchen and we sat down at the table.

  I stopped crying and blew my nose.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Mum said, leaning forward in her chair. ‘Did something happen while you were out?’

  I sniffed. I felt better for crying: less scared, more myself. I was upset from the shock of seeing and hearing Cody with that gun. Part of me wanted to tell Mum what I’d witnessed but I held back.

  By calling the police I’d done everything I could to alert the authorities. And no one had seen me. Cody must have assumed I’d gone back to the public bar. Hopefully he had already forgotten I was ever there.

  ‘I saw two men in . . . in a fight,’ I said, choosing my words carefully. ‘It . . . it was upsetting. That’s all.’

  Mum took my hand. ‘Did it bring back memories of Flynn getting into fights?’ she said, her voice oozing righteous sympathy.

  I took my hand away, irritation rising again. ‘Why do you always have to bring everything back to Flynn?’ I demanded.

  Mum looked down at the table. ‘I know you still think about him, River.’ Her voice was soft and low, very unlike the way she normally spoke.

  I glanced away, across the kitchen. The cupboard above the sink was open. Inside I could see the coloured bowls we used for eating cereal every morning when I was little. It was weird to think I had grown up in this house. I still visited regularly, but never for very long. Mum and I just didn’t get on. She had always hated Flynn – and my relationship with him.

  ‘How do you know what I think about?’ I asked.

  Mum bit her lip. ‘Fair enough,’ she said with a sigh. ‘But I do understand. More than you think. I . . .’ She hesitated. ‘I once . . . before I met your dad. There
was someone for me like Flynn.’

  I stared at her. She had to be kidding. ‘You went out with someone like Flynn?’

  Mum shrugged. In a way. Adam was older than me, twenty-two. I was your age now, not quite eighteen. He was what we used to call a drop-out . . . had a lot of dodgy friends, lived in a squat, took drugs . . .’

  ‘That’s not like Flynn at all,’ I said.

  ‘Okay.’ Mum sighed again. ‘I’m not saying he was like Flynn. Just that my parents hated him and hated me being with him.’

  ‘Dad doesn’t hate Flynn,’ I said quickly. Dad had always had more time for Flynn than Mum. He’d let him come and live with us at the commune, after all.

  ‘Doesn’t he?’ Mum tilted her head to one side. ‘Maybe he didn’t at first. Your dad has always been more trusting than me. But now?’ She paused. ‘After seeing you, the way you were last year, after Flynn left . . . so devastated you couldn’t even speak . . . after all that, I can assure you that your Dad is every bit as angry at Flynn as I am. More, probably, because he knows he should never have agreed to have Flynn come and live at the commune in the first place.’

  We sat in silence. I had never seen Mum talk about Flynn like this before – all calm and reflective. Normally the mention of his name spun her into a fury in seconds.

  ‘I’m sorry if I’ve upset you, River,’ Mum said, gently parting my hand. ‘I know I pushed you away last year, before you moved out. I didn’t mean to. It’s just . . . I can’t bear to see you make the same mistakes I once made.’

  ‘But you found Dad in the end, didn’t you? I mean, you and Dad loved each other once.’

  ‘Of course.’ Mum smiled. ‘Your father and I loved each other very much. But it was never intense like it was with Adam.’ She looked away, clearly lost in her memories. ‘The thing is, I thought Adam and I were meant to be. Forever. But we weren’t. That passed, just like your dad and I passed and you being a child passed. That’s the thing, River. Nothing lasts. Things you think are written in the stars can change in a heartbeat. All you can do is make the best of the time that you’re given.’