Six Steps to a Girl Read online

  The world stood still. I took the envelope and ripped it open. Inside were a handful of wooden buttons. They clanked, dully, against each other. There was no note. Nothing.

  “Did she say anything else?” I stared at Mum, my heart pounding.

  Mum shook her head. “What does—?”

  But I was already out the door.

  On the pavement, I looked up and down the road. Where was she? Then I saw her. Almost at the corner. I raced after her.

  “Eve,” I yelled. “Eve.”

  She stopped. Turned round. I panted up to her, my eyes drinking in her face. She looked nervous.

  “What . . .?” I faltered. “Why . . .?”

  “I thought you might want your buttons back, as you’re not coming to Art Club anymore,” she said.

  I frowned.

  “My coursework’s coming on well,” she said, “I’ve done a collage of both my mum’s eyes now. Took me ages to get them so they looked abstract, not crossed.”

  “Eve?” What’s going on? Why are you here?

  There was a long silence. A single ray of sunlight fell between us across the pavement.

  Eve’s mouth trembled. “I dumped Ben,” she said. “A week ago. You were right, all he cared about was what his mates thought. He told me he’d only been going out with me because everyone thought I was hot. And that he was going to dump me anyway because I wouldn’t . . . you know . . . do it with him.” She glanced away. “He asked me not to say anything for a few days, so I didn’t. Then, yesterday, he started telling people he’d dumped me.”

  I took a step closer to her. “He’s a piece of work,” I said. “You should forget him.”

  She looked up at me. “I have,” she said.

  There was another long silence.

  I couldn’t bear it. What was she telling me? What was she asking me?

  “So . . .?” I said.

  Eve stepped into the ray of sunlight between us. She put up her hand to shield her eyes from the glare. “You were right to make me choose,” she stammered. “I mean I was angry at the time. I told myself you were arrogant and stupid . . . but it made me realise . . . stuff.” She took a deep breath. “A lot of what it came down to was that I was embarrassed what people would think . . . what they’d say . . . you know . . . if I dated someone so much younger.”

  “I’m not so much younger. My birthday’s in September. That’s just six months diff—”

  “It’s a different school year. Oh, Luke, you know what people are like. I thought they’d talk about me behind my back. Or tease me about it.”

  “So all you care about is what other people think?” I said, slowly.

  Jesus. Was that it?

  “Chloe’s going out with Ryan. He’s in my year and she doesn’t seem bothered.”

  Eve took her hand away from her face. Her eyes were paler than ever in the glare of the sun. “I know. It was really stupid of me. You’re a million times cuter than Ben. And you make me laugh. And you really listen to what I say . . .” She bit her lip. “Anyway, I guess now you know what a jerk I am you won’t want to come back to Art Club.”

  Bloody hell. Why was she dragging up Art Club again? Why couldn’t she say what she meant?

  “You mean, you want to be friends?” I said, uncertainly.

  “If that’s what you want.” She shrugged.

  I stared at her, my throat suddenly tight. “What do you want?” I said.

  She stepped out of the sunlight towards me. “I miss you,” she said. “And I don’t care what people think anymore.”

  She just stood there staring up at me.

  She was like nobody else.

  And she wanted me.

  I hesitated for less than a second.

  Her cheek felt warm under my cold fingers. Her lips soft on my mouth. I leaned into her, feeling myself falling.

  Letting myself fall.

  We started going out properly after that. Mostly on our own or in big groups, but sometimes double-dating with Chlo and Ryan. Chloe was a bit sniffy at first, but once Eve told everyone in her year Ben had forced her into saying I’d attacked her, Chloe forgave her everything. And, as expected, Ben was too busy with his new girlfriend to be the slightest bit bothered about Eve and me.

  We get on well, the four of us. Ry and Chloe both love being the centre of attention, while me and Eve are happy to sit back and let them get on with it. Frankly, watching Ryan talk Chloe out of a mood is a whole evening’s worth of entertainment in its own right.

  But after a while, I always draw Eve away, get her to myself for a bit. She’s been teased at school for dating me, but she’s still here.

  What else can I tell you?

  Maybe just this: A few days ago Chloe gave me part of the letter Dad left for her when he died. It’s about me.

  . . . it comes down to this – it’s easier to write to you, Chloe, because you’re not so much like me . . . but with Luke it’s like looking in a mirror. I want to write to him, to tell him how proud I am of him and how much I love him – but he already knows those things. And the truth is, I don’t trust myself not to make the letter about me – mistakes and regrets and ambitions etc. And I don’t want to give him anything to live up to – or down to, for that matter. That’s why I’ve left him the records. I hope they’ll help him understand that I’ve been through so many of the same things he is, has and will go through too. And that I love him so much and trust him to find his own life. To make his own way.

  I showed Eve. Only Eve. She read it and hugged me.

  You see, she totally gets me.

  Totally gets who I am and what I want.

  My girl.

  My life.

  My way.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  While all reasonable efforts have been made to trace and acknowledge copyright holders of the lyrics reproduced in this publication, we apologise should there have been any errors or omissions.

  Chapter 1

  ‘My Way’ – The Sex Pistols

  Words and music written by Anka/Revaux/Francois/Thibault. Published by Warner Chappell Music Publishing © 1977. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 2

  ‘Is She Really Going Out With Him?’ – Joe Jackson

  Words and music written by Jackson. Published by Sony and ATV © 1978. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 3

  ‘Ever Fallen in Love?’ – Buzzcocks

  Words and music written by Shelley. Published by Complete Music Publishing © 1978. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 4

  ‘Cool for Cats’ – Squeeze

  Words and music written by Tilbrook/Difford. Published by Rondor Music Publishing © 1978. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 5

  ‘Brass in Pocket’ – The Pretenders

  Words and music written by Chrissie Hynde and James Honeyman-Scott © 1979. Reproduced by permission of EMI Music Publishing Ltd, London WC2H 0QY.

  Chapter 6

  ‘Picture This’ – Blondie

  Words and music written by Destri/Harry/Stein. Published by Monster Island Music Publishing/Chrysalis Music © 1978. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 7

  ‘Blue Monday’ – New Order

  Words and music written by New Order. Published by Warner Chappell Music Publishing © 1983. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 8

  ‘The Passenger’ – Iggy Pop

  Words and music by Iggy Pop/Ricky Gardiner © 1977, James Osterberg Music, USA. Reproduced by permission of Ricky Gardiner and EMI Music Publishing Ltd/EMI Music London WC2H 0QY

  Chapter 9

  ‘Uncertain Smile’ – The The

  Words and music written by Johnson. Published by Complete Music Publishing © 1982. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 10

  ‘Should I Stay Or Should I Go?’ – The Clash

  Words and music written by Strummer/Jones. Published by Universal Music Publishing © 1981. All rights reserved.

  Ch
apter 11

  ‘Love Song’ – The Damned

  Words and music written by Millar/Burns/Vanian/Ward. Published by Rock Music Company Ltd © 1979. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 12

  ‘Hand in Glove’ – The Smiths

  Words and music written by Marr/Morrissey. Published by Warner Chappell and Universal Music Publishing © 1983. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 13

  ‘Happy House’ – Siouxsie and the Banshees

  Words written by Siouxie Sioux. Published by Dreamhouse Music/ Chrysalis Music Ltd © 1980. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 14

  ‘Watching the Detectives’ – Elvis Costello and the Attractions

  Words and music written by Costello. Published by BMG Music Publishing © 1977. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 15

  ‘Down in the Tube Station at Midnight’ – The Jam

  Words and music written by Weller. Published by BMG Music Publishing © 1978. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 16

  ‘Grey Day’ – Madness

  Words and music written by Michael Barson © 1981. Reproduced by permission of EMI Music Publishing Ltd, London WC2H 0QY

  Chapter 17

  ‘In-between Days’ – The Cure

  Words and music written by Smith. Published by Universal Music Publishing © 1985. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 18

  ‘The Love Parade’ – The Undertones

  Words and music written by Sharkey/O’Neill/Bradley/Doherty. Published by Universal Music Publishing © 1983. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 19

  ‘Do Anything You Wanna Do’ – Eddie and the Hot Rods

  Words and music written by Hollis/Graeme. Published by Universal Music Publishing and Rock Music Company Ltd. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 20

  ‘Message in a Bottle’ – The Police

  Words and music written by Sting. Published by Magnetic Music © 1979. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 21

  ‘This Must Be The Place’ – Talking Heads

  Words and music by Byrne/Frantz/Harrison/Weymouth. Published by Warner Chappell Music Publishing © 1983. All rights reserved.

  Chapter 22

  ‘Rebel Yell’ – Billy Idol

  Words written by Idol. Published by Bone Idol Music/Chrysalis Music Ltd © 1983. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

  IF YOU ENJOYED SIX STEPS TO A GIRL, LOOK OUT

  FOR SOPHIE’S DEBUT NOVEL, GIRL, MISSING,

  AVAILABLE IN ALL GOOD BOOKSHOPS!

  HERE’S AN EXTRACT . . .

  Adopted. Lost. I typed the words into the search engine box.

  I’d been thinking about it a lot recently. Last week I’d even checked out some of the adoption information websites. You’d have laughed if you’d seen me: heart thumping, palms sweating, stomach screwed up into a knot.

  I mean, it’s not as if there’s going to be some site that says: Lauren Matthews – click here for your adoption details.

  Anyway. D’you know what I found out?

  That if I wanted to know anything about my life before I was three, I needed Mum and Dad’s permission.

  How unbelievable is that?

  My life. My identity. My past.

  But their decision.

  Even if I asked, there’s no way Mum would say yes. Well, you’ve seen how she is about the subject. Gets a face on her like a smashed plate.

  It would serve her right if I went ahead and did it anyway.

  I clicked on the search icon.

  Adopted. Lost. Nearly a million hits.

  My heart thudded. I could feel my stomach clenching again.

  I sat back in my chair. Enough.

  I was just wasting time. Putting off the homework. I reached over to close the search. And that’s when I caught sight of it: Missing-Children.com. An international site for lost or missing children. I frowned. I mean, how do you lose a child and then them not turn up? I can see how you might lose one for five minutes. Or even an hour. And I know sometimes children go missing ’cause some psycho’s murdered them. But Mum’s always saying that only happens like once or twice a year.

  I clicked through to the homepage. It was a flickering mass of faces. Each face the size of a stamp; each stamp turning into a new face after a few seconds.

  My jaw dropped. Did all these faces belong to missing children? I saw a search field. I hesitated. Then I tapped in my name. Lauren. I wasn’t really thinking about what I was doing. Just messing about – seeing how many missing Laurens there were out there.

  It turned out there were one hundred and seventy-two. Jeez. The computer was flashing at me to refine my search.

  Part of me wanted to stop. But I told myself not to be stupid. The flickering faces on the screen weren’t adopted children like me – with no past. They were missing kids. Kids with only a past.

  I just wanted to see who was there.

  I added my birth month to the search criteria.

  Lauren. March 1992.

  I watched as three Laurens appeared on the screen. One was black, missing since she was two weeks old.

  One was white with blonde hair – she looked about nine or ten. Yeah – she’d only been missing since 2001.

  I stared at the third child.

  Martha Lauren Purditt

  Case type: lost, injured, missing

  Date of birth: March 12 1992

  Age now: 14

  Birth place: Evanport, Connecticut, USA

  Hair: brown Eyes: blue

  I looked at the face above the words. A chubby, smiling little girl’s face. Then at the date she’d gone missing: September 8 1995.

  Less than two months before I was adopted.

  My heart seemed to stop beating.

  The birth date was a couple of days out. And I was British, not from America like the missing girl.

  So it wasn’t possible.

  Was it?

  The question seeped like a drug through my head, turning me upside down and inside out, filling me up.

  Could I be her?