Six Steps to a Girl Page 11

  I opened the door to Eve and Chloe’s classroom and peered inside. At first nobody noticed me – they were all talking too loudly. Lots of people were crowded round Eve’s desk. I couldn’t even see if she was there. I glanced across the room at Chloe. She was waving her arms, clearly telling me to go away. I pointed to where Eve sat, holding my hands up questioningly. What’s going on?

  “I don’t believe it,” said a deep voice beside me. I spun round, and came face to face with a thickset boy I didn’t know. He was sneering at me, his beefy hands rounded into fists.

  My heart started pounding.

  “Show your face anywhere near here again and I’ll make it look even worse than it does now,” he growled.

  I backed out of the door and leaned against the wall in the corridor. Tears pricked at my eyes. My hands were shaking. That deep, menacing voice had taken me straight back to Friday night.

  And yet this was almost worse.

  I understood why Ben was mad with me. I’d gone after his girlfriend. But why was the entire school angry? My fear mutated to rage. It wasn’t fair. I was the one who’d been left in a bleeding pulp.

  Chloe appeared at my shoulder, her forehead wrinkled with concern. “Get out of here,” she hissed.

  “What the hell is happening?” I said, clenching my fists.

  “It’s Eve. They all think you attacked her.”

  “What?”

  Chloe pushed me away from the wall, prodding me along the corridor, back in the direction of my own classroom. “Ben is saying that he only beat you up because you tried to force Eve to . . . you know . . . He says he caught you attacking her.”

  “But that’s rubbish. Why doesn’t everyone just ask Eve?”

  Chloe lowered her eyes. “Eve says it’s true.”

  I stared at her. The corridor seemed to spin round my head. For a second I thought I was going to pass out again. I leaned against the wall.

  Eve was telling lies about me?

  Chloe prodded me forwards. “Go away.”

  I stood my ground. There had to be some reason Eve would make up a story like that. It didn’t make sense. The bell rang.

  “Can’t you tell them it’s not true?”

  “I have,” Chloe sighed. “But they don’t believe me. They think I’m just sticking up for you because you’re my brother.”

  “I’m going to talk to Eve,” I said, heading back towards her classroom door. “There’s got to be some mistake. She can’t do this.”

  Chloe clutched at my arm. “Don’t be ridiculous. Eve’s really popular, especially with all the guys in our class. There are several of them in there right now who would happily break both your legs if you go anywhere near her. Leave it. At least for now.”

  I hesitated, knowing that Chloe was right. There was no point me trying to talk to Eve at the moment. The bell had gone and there were too many people around.

  I turned round, a huge lump in my throat. Chloe patted me on the back. “Forget her,” she said. “She’s not worth it.”

  When I got back to my classroom I found someone had emptied the contents of my bag into the rubbish bin.

  I picked everything out and trudged back to my desk.

  I sent another text and left my phone switched on all day, but Eve didn’t ring.

  The more I thought about it, the more I was sure there could only be one reason for the lies she was telling about me.

  Ben had forced her to choose between me and him. And she had chosen him.

  When I got home that day I told Mum that my face hurt and that maybe I’d gone back to school a bit early.

  She agreed I could stay off the rest of the week.

  17

  Tempted

  Yesterday I got so old

  I felt like I could die

  Yesterday I got so old

  It made me want to cry

  ‘In-between Days’

  The Cure

  By Wednesday evening my eye had gone back to its original size and the bruising on my face had turned from dark red to a purply shade of yellow.

  My heart, on the other hand, was still ripped to pieces.

  Ryan came round after school. He told me he’d spent the whole day telling people Ben and Eve were making their story up.

  “Everyone who knows you believes me now, which takes care of most of our year.” He shook his head. “Be easier if Eve wasn’t going round school crying, though.”

  I gritted my teeth, tasting the bitterness in my mouth. I was glad she was upset. She deserved to be.

  Later that evening Uncle Matt turned up for a meal. Chloe ate with us for once – I think Mum had asked her to for my sake. She and Mum had been getting on a bit better since I’d been beaten up and it was obvious they were both making an effort to avoid another row.

  It was nice of them – but I didn’t care what they did.

  I sat at the kitchen table, staring at my plate while the others chatted about boring work and school stuff. Mum tried to get me to talk for a while, then she gave up and left me picking at my food.

  After we’d eaten, Mum gave this nervous little cough.

  “Matt and I wanted to tell you both something.”

  I glanced at Chloe.

  “We know, Mum.” Chloe rolled her eyes. “We’ve known for ages. The two of you are an Item.”

  “There’s no need to talk to your mum like that,” Matt snapped.

  I stared back at my plate.

  Mum took Matt’s hand and laid it on the table, his fingers linked with her own. “Come on, guys, I don’t want a fight. I wanted you two to be the first we told. What do you think?”

  “I think it’s a bit quick,” Chloe said. “Dad only died two months ago.”

  Mum nodded. “I agree. That’s why we’re going to take it slowly. No one’s doing anything dramatic. Luke?”

  I could feel Mum’s eyes boring into me. I looked up.

  “Whatever,” I said.

  I got up and went next door to the living room. Dad’s ashes were in their wooden box on the mantelpiece, exactly where I had told Mum to put them. Dad’s dead body. In Dad’s dead house.

  It hadn’t done any good.

  Matt was going to come in and try and sweep all traces of Dad away. Mum was betraying Dad, just as Eve had betrayed me.

  I fixed my eyes on the wooden box.

  Sorry, Dad. I’m sorry this is happening.

  The doorbell rang. I could hear Chloe at the door, muttering angrily to someone. I attempted a weak smile. Whatever duster and dishcloth salesman had happened round tonight hadn’t bargained on Chloe in a bad mood.

  Then I caught a snatch of what she was saying.

  “Bloody slag. Making up stories about him. Piss off. He can do miles better than you.”

  I rushed into the hall. “Chlo,” I snapped.

  She sucked in her breath and stood back.

  Eve was standing in the doorway. Her lips were slightly parted, as if she was about to speak.

  My stomach did a back flip.

  How could her face be so beautiful when her heart was so rotten?

  Chloe backed out of the way, still muttering. She stomped up the stairs.

  I went over to the door. “What do you want?”

  Eve’s eyes were darting over my face, taking in my bruises. She reached out her hand to touch my cheek.

  “Don’t touch me.” I took a step back.

  Eve whipped her hand back. Her eyes filled with tears.

  “I wanted to talk to you,” she said.

  “Go on.”

  “Can’t I come in?”

  I shrugged and let her walk past me.

  Mum wandered into the hall. “Hi, Eve,” she said, distractedly. “You’ll find Chloe in her room.”

  I followed Eve up the stairs. Silently I led her into my room and shut the door.

  Eve sat on the bed and looked round. I stared at her, remembering how I’d once wanted her in here with me more than anything. And now she was here. And it was a
ll spoiled.

  She pointed to the cardboard box of singles in the corner. “Are those your dad’s records?” she said.

  “What do you want?”

  “To tell you what happened,” Eve’s voice was almost a whisper.

  I said nothing.

  “That night, on my birthday,” Eve said, “Ben told me to meet round at his before we went out. When I got there he said now I was sixteen maybe we could . . . you know . . . take our relationship to the next level.”

  “I don’t want to hear—”

  “Wait,” Eve said. “I said no. I said I wasn’t ready. That he was going too fast. And he got angry. He noticed my necklace and asked where it came from. I didn’t lie very well about it and he could see I was all nervy. Then he ripped it off and grabbed my phone and started going through the sent and saved texts. He saw your name coming up and asked me who you were.”

  “And you told him, just like that?”

  “No. I didn’t tell him anything. But he guessed. He guessed the whole thing. I know you think Ben’s stupid, but he’s not. He knew someone was at my house the other day – when it was you. And that came up again. And he went on and on, yelling at me. And there was no point denying it anymore.”

  “Right.”

  “I said you and I were just friends. That we did the after-school Art Club together. At first I thought he’d believed me. We went out for my birthday, had a pizza with some of my friends and he was . . .” she glanced at me, “. . . he seemed nice, you know? But he still had my phone and I wanted to call you, so I asked for it back. But he said no. And then he got really mean and . . . and he called me these horrible names. And then I knew he was going to come after you. I tried to get away, so I could warn you. But he made me come with him to the park.” Eve started sobbing. “And then he sent you some text I didn’t see. And he told me he was going to kill you. And then he left me and I ran as hard as I could until I came to a phone box that worked. But it took ages. And I called you, but you didn’t answer. And then I called Chloe. I didn’t care about anyone finding out about us anymore. I just wanted you to be safe. And I’m so . . . so sorry that he hurt you.”

  She put her head in her hands and wept.

  I stared at her, for once unmoved by her tears.

  “What about afterwards?” My voice shook. “When you told the whole school that I’d attacked you? Like I was some disgusting, out-of-control pervert that you only just managed to get away from.”

  “D’you think I wanted to say that?” Eve stood up and strode towards me, her palms open at her sides. “Ben’s stupid mates couldn’t keep their mouths shut. They started boasting about beating you up. I think Ben realised that if it got out I’d been seeing someone two years younger than he is, he’d look stupid. So he made up this story about how you’d tried it on with me, how you wouldn’t take no for an answer and how – thanks to him – I only just managed to get away. He knew that then he’d look like a hero and that everyone would hate you.”

  She stood in front of me, her eyes pleading with me to understand.

  I wanted so much just to lean forwards and kiss her mouth. No. I clenched my fists. I wasn’t going to let her make a fool of me again.

  “And how exactly did Ben ‘make’ you go along with his stupid story?”

  Eve stared at me, as if surprised I didn’t already know the answer.

  “He said if I didn’t back up what he said, he’d come after you again. And this time it would be just him and he would hurt you much, much worse. I was scared, Luke. I was trying to protect you.”

  I closed my eyes. Eve was right. Ben was clever. Clever enough to use how Eve and I felt about each other to get exactly what he wanted from both of us.

  Eve leaned against me, then stretched up and brushed her lips gently across my bruised cheek. “I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered. “I was scared to call. I didn’t think you’d ever want to see me again. But now we can go back to how it was.” She reached up and hooked her arm gently round my neck. “I know it’s risky but . . . but we’ve just got to be more careful. Make sure Ben doesn’t find out.”

  My heart started racing as she drew me into a long, slow kiss. I could feel myself falling down, down into her.

  Then I came to my senses. Step Six. Don’t take any crap.

  “No.” I pushed her away. “Ben threatened me too. Said he’d kill you if I told anyone he’d beaten me up. So I didn’t tell. But I was wrong. And you’re wrong too.”

  “But if I don’t back him up he’ll—”

  “Ben’s full of shit. He’s not really going to kill either of us.” I remembered something Ryan had once said. “All Ben cares about is looking good in front of his mates. He doesn’t want you particularly. He just doesn’t want you to dump him, especially for someone younger. I bet if you made it look mutual, he’d find someone else and wouldn’t care what you did.”

  I walked over to the window. The sky was a dull grey over the rooftops opposite.

  “I think Ben’s a jerk. And I think he went way too far in what he did to me. But you know what? I don’t blame him for being angry with me. You’re his girlfriend. If I was him, I’d have been angry too.”

  I lowered my gaze to the porch roof of the house across the road. Why did Eve want to be with Ben anyway? I suddenly realised how little respect I had for that. How little respect I had for myself if I accepted it.

  I turned round, praying she would understand.

  “You have to choose, Eve. Him or me. You can’t have both.”

  She stared at me for a few seconds, her face unreadable.

  Then she turned and walked out of my room.

  18

  Other girls

  I’ll go back and pick another girl, again.

  Close my eyes ’cause I know they’re all the same

  At the love parade

  ‘The Love Parade’

  The Undertones

  I was dreading going back to school on Monday, but in the end it wasn’t too bad. A few people in other years were still a bit weird, but my actual class were all really friendly. Jamie even came up to me and apologised for misunderstanding what had happened.

  “Not that I’m saying you were right to go out with someone else’s girlfriend,” he said, cautiously, “but Ben was way out of order hurting you like that.”

  Even allowing for the fact that gossip in school always moves on quickly, I knew that Ryan must have used every ounce of persuasive charm he could muster to change people’s minds about me so fast.

  I tried to thank him, but he got all gruff and embarrassed.

  “What are mates for?” he said.

  I shook my head. I was sure there had to be more to it than that. Ryan had put his own popularity on the line in order to stand up for me. That was an act beyond casual friendship.

  Not for the first time, I wondered why he was always so eager to help me.

  I never saw Ben. The sixth form were in a different building, so the only place we were ever likely to meet was the cafeteria.

  I started taking a packed lunch.

  I thought about going to the police – telling them what had really happened. But I couldn’t bear the thought of going back over it again. I wasn’t even sure they’d believe me. My guess was they’d be all suspicious, all you’ve changed your tune, son about it. And, in the end, it would be my word against Ben’s – who would have two friends to back up whatever story he came up with.

  A couple of weeks passed. I dropped out of Art Club, but I still saw Eve in the distance from time to time. I told myself I didn’t care about her anymore.

  I was lying.

  Chloe could see how I felt and took a typically hard line. “Stay away from her,” she said. “You’re better off without her.”

  She and Mum had stopped shouting at each other for almost a week after I got beaten up. But now the rows had started again – worse than ever.

  And when Mum wasn’t yelling at Chloe, she was trying to involve me in
these massively embarrassing conversations about her and Matt.

  “It’s not like I’m rushing into anything, Luke,” she’d say. “But Dad was so ill for so long, that it was almost like I did a lot of my mourning before he died.”

  I didn’t know what to say to her.

  I didn’t like Matt. That was that.

  I spent most of my time either alone or with Ryan. He made me laugh. And had a far more positive attitude to me and Eve splitting up than Chloe. It was less to do with Eve, in fact, and more to do with getting me over her.

  “We gotta pick up the old Six Steps,” he kept saying. “Get you a new babe.”

  After spending two weekends in a row just moping about the house, I finally agreed to go to a party with him. Tones – now a serious item with Kirsty – had invited Ryan to Kirsty’s cousin’s party on Saturday night.

  “She’s hot,” Ryan informed me. “The cousin, I mean. I’ve seen pictures. There’ll be loads of cool people there and Tones has only told me from our year – so none of the girls’ll know that you’re a sex maniac and likely to attack them as soon as they get within half a metre of you.”

  “Ha, ha.” I made a face at him, shrugging to indicate I could take or leave the party. But the truth was I’d been miserable for so long, I was ready for some fun.

  And the party turned out to be awesome. Kirsty’s cousin’s parents were away for the weekend, but they lived in this massive house, on the edge of town, with the nearest neighbours miles away. The music was loud and wild and, best of all, there were far more girls there than boys.

  I’d just had my hair cut again and the bruises on my face had practically disappeared. I felt pretty confident as we wandered into the open-plan living room.

  Ryan was always fun to be with. He made me practise his stupid ‘look’ on a couple of the girls in the first group we saw. But one just stared blankly back at me, and the other asked me pointedly if there was something wrong with my eyesight.

  “It’s no good,” I said to Ryan, my confidence dwindling fast, “I can’t do it like you.”