All My Secrets Read online

  Kit was so sympathetic about how hard it must have been to find out I’d been lied to all my life. He still doesn’t believe that I’ve really seen Irina’s ghost, but at least he agreed that it’s massively weird Mr Lomax had a photo of her – and that the photo shows she was at Lightsea when Lomax says she wasn’t. Last night we sat next to each other over dinner and it was soon obvious that all the others – apart from Samuel – were aware there was something going on between us.

  In the end, after a few heavy hints, Pepper asked straight out: ‘Are you two together or what?’

  I blushed from my hair to my toes, but Kit stared straight at her.

  ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘We are.’ And a delicious thrill flowed through me.

  The others were all cool about it, even Anna – who I’d suspected had a bit of a crush on Kit herself. Josh was particularly laid-back, which I thought totally proved Kit had been wrong about him liking me.

  But none of it helps me find out why Irina was on Lightsea – or what happened to her here. So now, here I am, heading downstairs for breakfast, my heart beating fast as I look forward to seeing Kit again – but my mind focused on getting back into Mr Lomax’s office, finding my mobile and, on it, Uncle Gavin’s number, then calling him on the landline.

  Morning meditation flies past for once, mainly because I spend the entire time planning another break-in. I’m sure Josh will help get me past the locked doors again, but Mr Lomax whisks him off for a one-to-one session, so I don’t get a chance to ask, Mr Bradley takes the rest of us outside to tackle a fitness-training course he’s set up in the woods. We pair up – I’m with Kit, thank goodness – to teeter our way across logs, clamber over makeshift fences and climb nets that hang from the trees. Kit and I finish the course in record time and spend the journey back to the house holding hands when no one’s looking. Frustratingly, I don’t get a chance to speak to Josh later as the only time we’re together is for our evening meal, which for some reason Mr Bradley eats with us.

  That night, after lights out, I tell Anna and Pepper that I’m certain Mr Lomax is covering up what happened to Irina on Lightsea. They are both shocked, though Anna’s eyes widen with anxiety while Pepper’s narrow with anger. We stay awake for hours after we’re supposed to. In the end, I fall asleep with my hand clutching the photo and the ballet shoes, feeling deeply frustrated. Tomorrow I have to get hold of Uncle Gavin and get a proper investigation started.

  The next morning I’m working with Pepper in the laundry while the others are ordered to undertake various cleaning chores around the house. She’s excited at the prospect of us breaking into Lomax’s office again.

  As soon as we’re all alone in the library after lunch, she grabs hold of Josh and explains the situation. Everyone is there apart from Samuel, who is apparently having a one-to-one session outside with Mr Lomax. Josh agrees straightaway to another break-in tonight and I wander over to Kit, who’s been chatting with Anna. She melts away as soon as I pitch up, a sad expression on her face. Is she upset because I’m with Kit? Or is it something else?

  I don’t think about it too much because soon Kit and I are deep in a kissing session behind the bookshelves. I consider inviting him along on tonight’s office break-in, but I’m worried he won’t approve. Unlike Josh or Pepper, Kit tends to follow the rules – or at least most of them. I enjoy the kissing, of course, but inside I’m all impatient for the afternoon to pass so that we can put our plan into action.

  First, however, we troop into the hall ready for outdoor chores with Mr Bradley. As we near the front door, footsteps sound on the stairs. It’s Samuel, hurrying down towards us.

  ‘Evie, listen,’ he hisses, rushing over. ‘I have to talk to you.’

  ‘What is it?’ I ask.

  ‘It’s . . . I—’

  ‘There you all are,’ Miss Bunnock calls from the end of the corridor. ‘It’s outdoor chores with Mr Bradley.’

  ‘We know,’ Josh says.

  ‘We’re not late,’ Pepper says with a roll of her eyes.

  Samuel clutches my arm. ‘Evie?’ he whispers.

  A second later, Mr Bradley himself appears through the front door.

  ‘Sorry, but I need two of them,’ Miss Bunnock says with a smile. ‘Samuel and Anna, please.’

  I glance at Samuel. His forehead is creased with a frown. I’m sure he’s just intent on passing on some new fact about trees or animals. To be honest, I’m more concerned with whether or not I’ll be paired with Kit this afternoon.

  ‘We can talk later, Samuel,’ I whisper.

  ‘OK.’ Samuel nods, still frowning.

  He and Anna disappear after Miss Bunnock. Mr Bradley takes the rest of us outside. He directs Pepper and Kit to the boathouse, then leads Josh and me into the woods to find suitable stones for his drystone wall project.

  I soon forget Samuel’s urgent hiss – and the absence of Kit – as Josh and I discuss where our mobiles might be hidden in Mr Lomax’s office.

  ‘Pepper already checked through the cupboards behind the desk,’ I say. ‘But there are lots of other places.’

  We discuss our plan a bit more, then focus on the task Bradley has given us. Josh grumbles as we sift earth and twigs in the chilly air, looking for bits of loose rock.

  ‘This is so not my idea of fun,’ he moans. ‘Why can’t Bradley find his own pigging stones? What does he need a wall for anyway? It’s not like he’s got anything to put behind one, like a goat. Or a motorway.’

  I laugh. ‘It could be worse,’ I say. ‘He might have wanted us to run back to the house with a sack of stones in each hand.’

  ‘Don’t think that isn’t coming later,’ Josh warns darkly.

  We chat as we scour the ground. Josh makes a vague comment about me and Kit being together, adding that he thinks it’s great we’ve hooked up.

  ‘Yeah, it’s cool,’ I say, equally vaguely. ‘What about you? Girlfriend at home?’

  ‘Nah,’ Josh says. ‘Us musicians prefer not to be tied down.’

  He’s played more songs for us over the past few nights. He revealed the best one last night. It was brilliant; even Kit sounded enthusiastic about it, though perhaps that was because, now we’re going out together, he no longer sees Josh as a threat. He knows Josh and I are just friends.

  ‘Do you miss listening to music?’ I ask, adding a stone to my pile. It’s funny, but talking to Josh is the easiest, most natural thing in the world. And, for a moment at least, I’m not even thinking about Irina or what happened to her here.

  ‘Oh man.’ Josh sighs. ‘Though actually—’ He pauses.

  A flash of red streaks past my eyeline.

  ‘What was that?’ I ask, my whole body suddenly alert.

  ‘What?’ Josh follows my gaze. The woods are empty. ‘What did you see?’

  I scan the trees. There. A figure in a long black coat and a red hat darts between the branches and out of sight again. ‘It’s her.’ A shiver chills through me. Is it really Irina’s ghost? This time I have to find out for sure. I drop the stone and run after her. A second later, I realise Josh is pelting along by my side.

  ‘Are you certain, Evie?’

  ‘Yes,’ I say. ‘Over there.’ I point towards the flat rock beyond the trees. This was exactly where I saw the ghost before. I run out onto the smooth stone. It’s far more slippery than it was last time, thanks to the earlier drizzle. I stumble to a halt. Why did she run out here? Does she want to show me something?

  ‘Evie, careful!’ Josh warns.

  I scramble along the rock, keeping far away from the sea. Just as before, the ghost has disappeared. Or has she? Now I’ve walked further than I did last time, I can see that the rock slopes down via a series of small steps to one of the stony beaches that are dotted around the island.

  ‘She must have gone down here,’ I say, hurrying over as fast as I dare.

  ‘Wait!’ Josh calls.

  I barely hear him. A light rain starts to fall as I reach the pebbled beach and pelt towards
the point where it curves away. The rain grows heavier. By the time I round the curve, it’s a drenching downpour.

  Where is she?

  Another flash of red hat and black coat. The figure disappears behind the next bend. I’m certain from Mr Bradley’s orientation session that the trees and the beach peter out into open moorland just beyond.

  This time, surely, if I just follow her around the rock and into the next bay, I will find her.

  Eighteen

  I skid to a stop, gasping for breath. The ghost is nowhere to be seen. I turn right around, rain streaming down my face, making sure I’m not missing her. The stony beach stretches out ahead of me, ending in a point about fifty metres away. To my right is the sea, its waves crashing against the rocks beyond the shore. To my left is the sheer face of the cliff.

  There is nowhere the ghost can have gone; she’s vanished into thin air.

  ‘No,’ I breathe. Loss overwhelms me. How can Irina let me see her, then just run away? The pain of it fills me. I drop to my knees on the pebbles, hardly aware of the sharp cold of the stone. Misery consumes me: the ghost was here, within my grasp, and now she has gone.

  For a moment, I’m lost in the heaving sobs that rack my body and then I feel a hand on my shoulder. Josh gazes down at me, eyes full of concern.

  ‘Hey, Evie,’ he says, rain dripping from his hair, ‘are you all right?’

  Shaking my head, I stand and let him hold me as I cry. In the distance, thunder rumbles. We are soaked.

  ‘Let’s get out of the rain,’ Josh urges.

  I let him lead me across the beach to stand under a piece of overhanging rock. The cliff face below the overhang has been worn away, leaving a small, shallow cave where we can take shelter.

  As we reach the spot, I wipe my face, feeling the sharp pain of my initial misery give way to a dull ache that persists as Josh rubs my arms, then hugs me again, muttering that I must be cold.

  Outside our cave the downpour is growing fiercer. Thunder crashes; the waves smash against the rocks, barely visible through the sheet of rain that pounds onto the beach.

  ‘It was her,’ I gabble, shivering as I speak. ‘It was my mum’s ghost. She was right here.’

  Josh says nothing. He takes off his sodden jacket and holds it out. ‘Do you want this? I’m not sure it’ll help, but it’s better than nothing.’

  ‘Thanks.’ I let him drape the damp jacket over my shoulders. ‘I couldn’t see where she went,’ I say. ‘There’s no way she could have climbed the cliff and she wouldn’t have got all the way along the beach without me seeing . . .’ I hesitate. ‘Did you see where she went? Because I think she was trying to tell me something. Why else would she appear in the first place?’

  Josh looks away.

  ‘What?’ I ask.

  He turns to face me, his expression registering worry . . . and doubt.

  ‘I’m sorry, but I didn’t see anything, Evie,’ he confesses. ‘Do you . . . is it possible that you maybe imagined the ghost?’

  It’s like a punch to the stomach. I back away from him.

  ‘I thought you believed me,’ I say, my voice trembling as I realise that, of everybody on the island, Josh was the only one – apart from Anna perhaps – who accepted my ghost story without question. Until now. ‘I thought you were on my side?’

  ‘I am.’ Josh frowns. ‘Seriously, man, I am totally on your side. And I’m not doubting that it was your mum who died here or any of that. But . . .’

  I turn and walk away, trying hard not to cry again. The space under the overhanging rock is bigger than I’d first thought; it extends back at least ten metres. A proper cave. I walk into the shadowy recess, blinking back my tears, letting my eyes adjust to the dark.

  ‘Evie?’ Josh calls.

  I say nothing. I know with the logical part of my mind that it is possible I imagined the ghost, but I’m not ready to stop believing Irina’s spirit was here.

  Except why appear in front of me, only to vanish again?

  Outside the storm rages. Thunder cracks the sky. A sudden flash of lightning lights up the back of the cave. I gasp. A cairn of stones has been piled up just beyond the point where I’m standing. In front of the pile, a series of initials are laid out in pebbles.

  The first letter is a capital ‘I’. I crouch down, the skin on the back of my neck crawling.

  ‘Evie?’ I can hear Josh walking towards me. Another crack of thunder is followed by a second flare of lightning. It lights up the rest of the letters:

  IG DL

  ‘Whoa,’ I breathe.

  ‘What?’ Josh runs up, kicking the letters as he skids to a halt beside me.

  I point to the scattered pebbles. ‘I’ve just realised why my mum’s ghost is appearing to me,’ I say. ‘I think she’s been trying to show me who killed her.’

  Josh follows my pointing finger. ‘What d’you mean?’ he asks.

  ‘She arranged the stones to make two sets of initials,’ I say. ‘IG for Irina Galloway . . . that’s my mum. And DL for David Lomax, Mr Lomax . . . her killer.’

  Nineteen

  The storm rages outside. Another flash lights up Josh’s face. The frown creasing his forehead is deeper than before.

  ‘Don’t you get it?’ I say. ‘The ghost came into this cave. She was leading me here . . . to these . . .’ I gaze down at the pebbles again. ‘My mum was here on the island fifteen years ago. And it was Mr Lomax who pushed her off Easter Rock. That’s why he’s lying to me about her being here. Those initials prove it.’

  Josh clears his throat. ‘OK, but . . . but all I can see are a bunch of stones.’

  ‘They were initials before you lumbered over and kicked them away,’ I snap. ‘I told you . . . DL for David Lomax and IG for my mum, Irina Galloway. The ghost put them there to tell me who killed her.’

  ‘Right.’ Josh sounds sceptical. ‘You’re saying a ghost moved a load of stones? I’m sorry, Evie, but what did she move them with? Ghosts move through things, they don’t have proper hands.’

  A huge roar of thunder is followed by a flare of lightning. All I can see in Josh’s eyes is doubt. And pity. My heart sinks. Why won’t anyone believe me?

  ‘Haven’t you ever heard of telekinesis?’

  ‘Moving things with your mind? Yes, of course, but . . .’ Josh tails off.

  I turn away and walk back to the cave entrance. The rain is still lashing down outside, the waves bigger than before, pounding onto the beach. A riot of emotion careers around my head: anger that Josh doesn’t believe me is mixed with a deep, miserable fear that if he doesn’t take what I’m saying seriously then no one else will either.

  Most of all I feel desperately alone. Irina’s spirit was here and now she is gone. Which is worse than if she had never been here at all. Two hot tears leak out of my eyes and trickle down my cheeks. I wipe them away.

  ‘Hey.’ Josh appears in front of me. ‘Don’t cry. I’m sorry. Look, what do I know? Maybe you’re right and your mum’s ghost has been here, trying to communicate with you. Maybe she only appears to you. It would make sense; you’re her daughter so there’d be a special connection.’ He wipes the tears from my cheeks. ‘Anyway, there’s definitely something weird going on. Even without your ghost, you found a picture of your mum in Mr Lomax’s office, wearing the same clothes as the woman in the newspaper article who died here.’

  ‘Thanks.’ I sniff. ‘I just feel helpless, with all this information and no way of telling anyone outside the island or getting anything done about it.’

  Josh pulls me closer, into a hug. Another crack of thunder is followed by a flash of lightning that whitens the dark, menacing sky over the sea. Huge waves smash, relentless, onto the beach.

  ‘We will get something done,’ he says. ‘We’ll break into the office, find our phones and get your uncle’s number. And, if we can’t get hold of him for any reason, we’ll just dial 999 on the office phone and get the police to investigate.’

  I nod. ‘Come on then, let’s go. Mr
Bradley will be going berserk wondering where we’ve got to as it is.’

  Josh grins. ‘We’ll tell him we got sidetracked by some particularly spectacular rocks for his drystone wall, yeah?’

  ‘Yeah,’ I giggle, feeling better.

  The rain drums on our hunched shoulders as we head out of the shelter of the cave. We’ve only walked a couple of steps before Josh swears under his breath.

  ‘What?’ I ask, shouting over the noise of the storm.

  Josh points to the way back, to the bend in the beach which we’d rounded to reach this stretch. Waves are now crashing against the rock face. The beach is covered in water.

  It’s the same in the other direction. We’re trapped by the tide and there’s no way out of the bay.

  ‘It’s too dangerous to try and get past those waves,’ Josh shouts. ‘We’ll have to wait for the storm to die down a bit.’

  He’s right. We scuttle back into the cave. I run my fingers through my hair, trying to flick out some of the moisture. It’s no good. We’re both soaked. I take off Josh’s jacket and my own and lay them out at the back of the cave, hoping they’ll dry out a bit while we wait. Josh stands in the entrance, staring out at the storm. A new silvery light is shining through the dark clouds over the sea, casting an other-worldly glow over the raging water.

  ‘That’s a weird light,’ I say, joining him at the front of the cave.

  ‘This place is spooky, isn’t it?’ he says. ‘Not just the bay, but this whole island.’

  ‘Sometimes it’s beautiful,’ I say, remembering the sunset that first evening and how Kit saved me as I slipped on the rock.

  ‘It’s not the only thing here that’s beautiful.’ Josh glances at me, his voice soft and low.

  I can feel my cheeks blushing. Does he mean me? I brush my hair self-consciously off my face.

  ‘Hey, d’you want to dance while we’re waiting?’ Josh asks, his eyes sparkling.

  ‘Dance?’ I say, feeling even more awkward. ‘To what?’

  Josh grins. He digs his hand into his trouser pocket and pulls out a tiny MP3 player, complete with earphones.